Jonathan Crocker

Werner Herzog doesn’t like March of the Penguins. Cinema’s metaphysical Tarzan, as critic Pauline Kael dubbed him, has more pressing questions. Like, are penguins gay? Read the rest of this entry »

Don’t pollen-hate: avoid turning into a gooey mess when summer gets in your face…

1. Bad nature

Oh, happy day! Spring has sprung, summer is brewing and you can start enjoying the great outdoors again. But also, if you’re among the unlucky 20% of allergic UK men, another brutal attack of hayfever. “In March and April, pollen grains from trees start to absorb moisture, then swell and burst, showering tiny pollen granules into the atmosphere,” says Dr Adrian Morris, a Harley Street allergy specialist. “These then head into your eyes, up your nose and from there, down into your lungs.” Global warming is boosting pollen counts, so check the forecast to see if you’re in the danger zone. And if someone offers you shares in a hanky company, take ’em. Read the rest of this entry »

Martyrs writer/director Pascal Laugier picks his five favourite scare-flicks…

1. The Exorcist (1973)

“It’s not very original, but I still can’t believe my eyes. I’m still totally frightened by the intensity of the film. The way it makes documentary of the Grand Guignol elements. The censors at the time said there was something nasty, something corrupt, in the entire film negative itself – and I think they’re right.” Read the rest of this entry »

Torture porn goes art house with French shocker Martyrs…

Everything is quiet. Everything is too quiet in the Odeon West End cinema at London’s Leicester Square. Suddenly, the screening-room doors fly open. Two ashen-faced women come tumbling out. They rush for the nearest toilet sign. A gentle-looking man watches bemused in the lobby. Read the rest of this entry »

Master the wine menu to drink your way to instant health and impress the ladies while you’re doing it…

1. CABERNET

Impress your date: “Declare that this red will have hints of mint, pepper and occasionally cedar wood or cigar box notes,” says Matthew Jukes, wine expert and buyer for leading UK merchants Quintessentially Wine. Read the rest of this entry »

Brit director Danny Boyle chats about his Oscar-hauling triumph…

Slumdog Millionaire cleaned up at the Oscars. Are awards important to you?

Well… Anybody who tells you they don’t dream about that stuff is lying. Because everybody does. It’s great for all of us, ego-wise. But more importantly, it’s wonderful for the film. Read the rest of this entry »

“My whole life has been a waste. I just want to escape. I’m really embarrassed with myself and my life.” With those words, the phenomenon who remains the youngest ever heavyweight champion of the world retired from boxing in 2005. Overweight. Bankrupt. Beaten. Lost. Read the rest of this entry »

Proudly presenting some remarkable things you may not have heard about cinema’s most mysterious master. Including the fact you pronounce his name “Cue-brick” not “Koo-brick”. Let’s face it: there’s never been another like him.

1. Kubrick wanted to be a drummer

As a youngster, Stanley Kubrick loved jazz. Loved it so much, he wanted nothing more than to be a jazz drummer – until little Stanley’s dad bought him a Graflex camera for his 13th birthday. Kubrick threw himself into a lifelong passion for images. Instead of spending the next five decades banging drums in smoky clubs. Phew. Read the rest of this entry »

The middle of the night, a couple waking in their bed to find masked intruders watching them, the man brutally beaten to death, the bloodied woman chased screaming down the road outside… Lensed like a nightmare with grainy slo-mo, warped sonics and frightening gloom, that terrifying opening looks like it could have been plucked from the cutting-room floor of her father’s Lost Highway. Read the rest of this entry »

Meeting the daughter of darkness at Cannes 2008…

What’s your favourite film?

I’m gonna have to go ahead and list Blue Velvet as one of them. I’m going to also list Rear Window and Sunset Boulevard. Sunset Boulevard blew my mind as a kid. I was eight maybe. I mean, it was sort of a discovery. It was like uncovering a brilliant novel or a dirty book in a trunk. I didn’t know you could tell a story in that way. That swung the doors open for me. Read the rest of this entry »